drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
