shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
