If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
