she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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