i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm just crazy horny about you
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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