Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
