Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
