your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
