i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize