i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize