Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Bring me that man meat
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
