we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
