i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
