I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
