Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize