he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
