and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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