i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
