seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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