im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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