I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Randomize
