Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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