so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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