Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
porn star boner night. come get it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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