why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
