you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
