I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
