did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
