So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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