When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm passing your future prison.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize