My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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