brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
