I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
