Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
