Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
