u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize