the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize