I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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