You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
