everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
