omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
