I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
