Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
