You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
