i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
