Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
