I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
