I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I still have a little drunk in my system
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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