all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
