Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
