Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
