It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize