the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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