It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
