my mouth tastes like poor choices
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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