Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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