ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
