the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
