how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
