i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
