summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize