So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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