i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
